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Stephen Chu



Posts: 46
Join date: 2010-06-28

PostSubject: Girls Varsity Basketball   Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:49 am

As fall sports come to its presumable end, the Girls Varsity Basketball team is ready to prove that it is the team to beat this winter. This 2011 squad has prepared diligently and is eager to fight for the Pacific League Championship title. Although only deemed as a mediocre team last season, finishing in the middle of the league, this year’s team will learn from its mistakes and improve on its average season. Coach Don Young stated, “Quote here”

Although the New Year has just begun, 2011 seems like it will be much more successful than previous years. These girls have started the season 8-3, winning their opening league matchup against the Hoover High School Basketball team. On Jan. 4, the girls played well and consistently outplayed the competition. By only accumulating three loses in the La Canada and Arroyo tournaments combined, the girls are out to earn respect and credibility on the court. Following its spectacular start to the season, the Varsity team played against the Glendale High School Basketball team on Jan. 7, the team_________________________________, which resulted in a ______. Coach Young explained, “Quote here.”

With consistent practices everyday, the Girls Varsity team is on the pursuit for excellence with work ethic that is second to none. Understanding the importance of these games, while maintaining a fun attitude, the girls are proving that enjoyment and victory are complementary to one another. Junior Heather Young said, “Quote here” As the season progresses the girls continuously strive towards being fundamentally sound basketball team. Constant reminders from Coach Young that “Quote here.” The girls have adopted this concept and understand the significance of playing as a united team.

Senior Dana Yamada said, “Quote here.” Knowing that this is the last season for many of the team’s players, the seniors see the importance of finishing off their high school sports careers with a bang. Senior Julianna Okamoto talked about her senior season as “Quote here.” The underclassmen on this team desire to give these seniors a memorable last season, however they also know that this is just another year to prove themselves to Coach Young.

With games against Hoover, Glendale, Pasadena, Burroughs, Burbank, John Muir, and Crescenta Valley (CV), the girls are fighting to go to California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) as well as to attain the Pacific League Championship title. The season is nearly over and for these girls; the chance to play in the highly anticipated CIF is on the line. In order to showcase its skills, the Girls Varsity team is banking on consistent play of excellence through the next month to make it to the desired playoffs. “Quote here,” said Coach Young. Come support these girls in their final game of the season, against rival CV on Feb. 10!
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Josie Yang



Posts: 514
Join date: 2010-07-08

PostSubject: first draft revision   Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:43 pm

As fall sports come to its presumable end, the Girls Varsity Basketball team is ready to prove that it is the team to beat this winter. This 2011 squad has prepared diligently and is eager to fight for the Pacific League Championship title. Although only deemed as a mediocre team last season, finishing in the middle of the league, this year’s team will learn from its mistakes and improve on its average season. Coach Don Young stated, “Quote here”

Although the New Year <new year> has just begun, 2011 seems like it will be much more successful than previous years. These girls have started the season 8-3, winning their opening league matchup against the Hoover High School Basketball team. On Jan. 4, the girls played well and consistently outplayed the competition. By only accumulating three loses <losses> in the La Canada and Arroyo tournaments combined, the girls are out to earn respect and credibility on the court. Following its spectacular start to the season, the Varsity team played against the Glendale High School Basketball team on Jan. 7, the team _________________________________, which resulted in a ______. Coach Young explained, “Quote here.”

With consistent practices everyday, the Girls Varsity team is on the pursuit for excellence with <a> work ethic that is second to none. Understanding the importance of these games, while maintaining a fun attitude, the girls are proving that enjoyment and victory are complementary to one another. Junior Heather Young said, “Quote here” As the season progresses the girls continuously strive towards <toward> being <a> fundamentally sound basketball team. Constant reminders from Coach Young that “Quote here.” The girls have adopted this concept and understand the significance of playing as a united team.

Senior Dana Yamada said, “Quote here.” Knowing that this is the last season for many of the team’s players, the seniors see the importance of finishing off their high school sports careers with a bang. Senior Julianna Okamoto talked about her senior season as “Quote here.” The underclassmen on this team desire to give these seniors a memorable last season, however <format as semi-colon, however, and comma> they also know that this is just another year to prove themselves to Coach Young.

With games against Hoover, Glendale, Pasadena, Burroughs, Burbank, John Muir, and Crescenta Valley (CV), the girls are fighting to go to California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) as well as to attain the Pacific League Championship title. The season is nearly over and for these girls; the chance to play in the highly anticipated CIF is on the line. In order to showcase its skills, the Girls Varsity team is banking on consistent play of excellence through the next month to make it to the desired playoffs. “Quote here,” said Coach Young. Come support these girls in their final game of the season, <delete comma> against rival CV on Feb. 10!
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Stephen Chu



Posts: 46
Join date: 2010-06-28

PostSubject: Girls Varsity Basketball   Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:54 pm

As fall sports come to its presumable end, the Girls Varsity Basketball team is ready to prove that it is the team to beat this winter. This 2011 squad has prepared diligently and is eager to fight for the Pacific League Championship title. Although deemed as a mediocre team last season, finishing in the middle of the league, this year’s team will learn from its mistakes and improve on its average season. Coach Don Young stated, “Quote here”

Although the new year has just begun, 2011 seems like it will be much more successful than previous years. These girls have started the season 8-3, winning their opening league matchup against the Hoover High School. On Jan. 4, the girls played well and consistently outplayed the competition. By only accumulating three losses in the La Canada and Arroyo tournaments combined, the girls are out to earn respect and credibility on the court. Following its spectacular start to the season, the varsity team played against the Glendale High School on Jan. 7, the team played a decent game, however resulted in a loss. Coach Young explained, “Quote here.”

With consistent practices everyday, the Girls Varsity team is on the pursuit for excellence with work ethic that is second to none. By understanding the importance of these games while maintaining a fun attitude, the girls are proving that enjoyment and victory are complementary to one another. Junior Heather Young said, “Quote here” As the season progresses the girls continuously strive towards being a fundamentally sound basketball team while trusting one another to achieve worthy results. Constant reminders from Coach Young that “Quote here.” The girls have adopted this concept and understand the significance of playing as a united team.

Senior Dana Yamada said, “Quote here.” Knowing that this is the last season for many of the team’s players, the seniors see the importance of finishing off their high school sports careers with a bang. Senior Julianna Okamoto talked about her senior season as “Quote here.” The underclassmen on this team want to give these seniors a memorable last season; however, they also know that this is just another year to prove themselves to Coach Young.

With games against Hoover, Glendale, Pasadena, Burroughs, Burbank, John Muir, and Crescenta Valley (CV), the girls are fighting to go to California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) as well as to attain the Pacific League Championship title. The season is nearly over and for these girls; the chance to play in the highly anticipated CIF playoffs on the line. In order to showcase its skills, the girls varsity team is banking on consistent play of excellence through the next month to make it to the desired playoffs. “Quote here,” said Coach Young. Come support these girls in their final three home games of the season before they travel to CV to end the season. Lets go girls!
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Josie Yang



Posts: 514
Join date: 2010-07-08

PostSubject: second draft revision   Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:43 pm

As fall sports come to its presumable end <change to one of two phrases: as fall sports come to their end, as fall sports comes to its end...>, the Girls Varsity Basketball team is ready to prove that it is the team to beat this winter. This 2011 squad has prepared diligently and is eager to fight for the Pacific League Championship title. Although deemed as <delete as> a mediocre team last season, finishing in the middle of the league, this year’s team will learn from its mistakes and improve on its average season. Coach Don Young stated, “Quote here”

Although the new year has just begun, 2011 seems like it will be much more successful than <insert 'in'> previous years. These girls have started the season 8-3, winning their opening league matchup against the <delete the> Hoover High School. On Jan. 4, the girls played well and consistently outplayed the competition. By only accumulating three losses in the La Canada and Arroyo tournaments combined, the girls are out to earn respect and credibility on the court. Following its spectacular start to the season, the varsity <Varsity> team played against the <delete the> Glendale High School on Jan. 7, the team played a decent game, however resulted in a loss. <run-on sentence> Coach Young explained, “Quote here.”

With consistent practices everyday, the Girls Varsity team is on the pursuit for <change to 'in pursuit of'> excellence with <a> work ethic that is second to none. By understanding the importance of these games while maintaining a fun attitude, the girls are proving that enjoyment and victory are complementary to one another. Junior Heather Young said, “Quote here” As the season progresses the girls continuously strive towards <toward> being a fundamentally sound basketball team while trusting one another to achieve worthy results. Constant reminders from Coach Young that “Quote here.” <this sounds like it will be a run-on sentence watch out for that> The girls have adopted this concept and understand the significance of playing as a united team.

Senior Dana Yamada said, “Quote here.” Knowing that this is the last season for many of the team’s players, the seniors see the importance of finishing off their high school sports careers with a bang. Senior Julianna Okamoto talked about her senior season as “Quote here.” The underclassmen on this team want to give these seniors a memorable last season; however, they also know that this is just another year to prove themselves to Coach Young.

With games against Hoover, Glendale, Pasadena, Burroughs, Burbank, John Muir, and Crescenta Valley (CV), the girls are fighting to go to California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) <just say CIF this is an exception to the rule> as well as to attain the Pacific League Championship title. The season is nearly over and for these girls; <delete semi-colon> the chance to play in the highly anticipated CIF playoffs <is> on the line. In order to showcase its skills, the girls varsity team <Girls Varsity> is banking on consistent play of <delete play of> excellence through the next month to make it to the desired playoffs. “Quote here,” said Coach Young. Come support these girls in their final three home games of the season before they travel to CV to end the season. Lets <Let's> go girls!
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ChristinaZhou



Posts: 63
Join date: 2010-06-30

PostSubject: Girls Varsity Basketball   Wed Jan 12, 2011 9:26 am

As fall sports come to its end, the Girls Varsity Basketball team is ready to prove that it is the team to beat this winter. This 2011 squad has prepared diligently and is eager to fight for the Pacific League Championship title. Although deemed a mediocre team last season, finishing out of the top three, this year’s team will learn from its mistakes and improve on its average season. Coach Don Young stated, “The team has a set a goal to earn an automatic berth to CIF playoffs. To do so we would have to finish top four in our 8 team league. Since the expansion of the Pacific League from 6 to 8 teams, it has never happened.”

Although the new year has just begun, 2011 seems like it will be much more successful than in previous years. These girls have started the season with a record of 8-3, winning their opening league matchup against Hoover High School. On Jan. 4, the girls played well and consistently outplayed the competition. By only accumulating three losses in the La Canada and Arroyo tournaments combined, the girls are out to earn respect and credibility on the court. Following its spectacular start to the season, the girls played against Glendale High School on Jan. 7, the team played a decent game, however resulted in a loss. Coach Young explained, “If there is one thing I can say about this year’s team that stands out is that they are very dedicated to each other.”

With consistent practices everyday, the Girls Varsity team is in the pursuit for excellence with a work ethic that is second to none. By understanding the importance of these games while maintaining a fun attitude, the girls are proving that enjoyment and victory are complementary to one another. “Zero period [practice] is usually dedicated to shooting and working on offensive skills and our afternoon practices focus a lot on defense. We run several full court and half court traps and both require a lot of repetition,” said Coach Young. As the season progresses the girls continuously strive toward being a fundamentally sound basketball team while trusting one another to achieve worthy results. Reminders from Coach Young that “the team must always stick together and understand how far this program has come along,” inspires these ladies of the court to play as a united group. The girls have adopted this concept and understand the significance of focusing on the team rather than as individual players.

Key contributions and significant leadership from this year’s seniors emphasize the team’s focus of finishing off their high school sports careers with a bang. Coach Young stated, “I'm very proud of this group of seniors, Dana Yamada, Joy Kang, Julianna Okamoto, Danielle Lee, and Melody Cazarin. Those 5 gals went through a lot these past 3 years and its only proper that they go out winners their last year at AHS.” The underclassmen on this year’s team want to give these seniors a memorable last season; however, they also know that this is just another year to prove themselves to Coach Young. With Julianna, Joy, and sophomore Melody Chang all in the top ten in scoring and steals in the Pacific League, the varsity team is well rounded and has the talent to become a dominant team.

With games against Hoover, Glendale, Pasadena, Burroughs, Burbank, John Muir, and Crescenta Valley (CV), the girls are fighting to go to CIF as well as to attain the Pacific League Championship title. The season is nearly over and for these girls the chance to play in the highly anticipated CIF playoffs is on the line. In order to showcase its skills, the girls varsity team is banking on excellence through the next month to make it to the desired playoffs. “Quote here,” said Coach Young. Come support these girls in their final three home games of the season before they travel to CV to end the season.
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Stephen Chu



Posts: 46
Join date: 2010-06-28

PostSubject: Re: Girls Varsity Basketball   Wed Jan 12, 2011 9:28 am

oops sorry i was accidentally signed on to someone elses account when i posted the latest response
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Josie Yang



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Join date: 2010-07-08

PostSubject: third draft revision   Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:56 pm

As fall sports come to its end, the Girls Varsity Basketball team is ready to prove that it is the team to beat this winter. This 2011 squad has prepared diligently and is eager to fight for the Pacific League Championship title. Although deemed a mediocre team last season, finishing out of the top three, this year’s team will learn from its mistakes and improve on its average season. Coach Don Young stated, “The team has a set a goal <revise according to wat the coach said... u have an extra 'a' but i dont know which> to earn an automatic berth <see end of article> to CIF playoffs. To do so we would have to finish top four in our 8 <eight> team league. Since the expansion of the Pacific League from 6 to 8 <six to eight> teams, it has never happened.”

Although the new year has just begun, 2011 seems like it will be much more successful than in <delete in> previous years. These girls have started the season with a record of 8-3, winning their opening league matchup against Hoover High School. On Jan. 4, the girls played well and consistently outplayed the competition. By only accumulating three losses in the La Canada and Arroyo tournaments combined, the girls are out to earn respect and credibility on the court. Following its <their, not its> spectacular start to the season, the girls played against Glendale High School on Jan. 7, <semi-colon not comma> the team played a decent game, however resulted in a loss <doesnt make sense, change to 'but it still lost'>. Coach Young explained, “If there is one thing I can say about this year’s team that stands out <insert [it]> is that they are very dedicated to each other.”

With consistent practices everyday, the Girls Varsity team is in the pursuit for <of, not for> excellence with a work ethic that is second to none. By understanding the importance of these games while maintaining a fun attitude, the girls are proving that enjoyment and victory are complementary to one another. “Zero period [practice] is usually dedicated to shooting and working on offensive skills and our afternoon practices focus a lot on defense. We run several full court and half court traps and both require a lot of repetition,” said Coach Young. As the season progresses the girls continuously strive toward being a fundamentally sound basketball team while trusting one another to achieve worthy results. Reminders from Coach Young that “the team must always stick together and understand how far this program has come along,” <delete the comma in this quote> inspires these ladies of the court to play as a united group. The girls have adopted this concept and understand the significance of focusing on the team rather than as <change as to the> individual players.

Key contributions and significant leadership from this year’s seniors emphasize the team’s focus of finishing off their <technically, their refers to team. reword plz> high school sports careers with a bang. Coach Young stated, “I'm very proud of this group of seniors, <change to dash or colon> Dana Yamada, Joy Kang, Julianna Okamoto, Danielle Lee, and Melody Cazarin. Those 5 <five> gals went through a lot these past 3 <three> years and its <it's> only proper that they go out winners their last year at AHS.” The underclassmen on this year’s team want to give these seniors a memorable last season; however, they also know that this is just another year to prove themselves to Coach Young. With Julianna, Joy, and sophomore Melody Chang all in the top ten in scoring and steals in the Pacific League, the varsity <Varsity> team is well rounded and has the talent to become a dominant team.

With games against Hoover, Glendale, Pasadena, Burroughs, Burbank, John Muir, and Crescenta Valley (CV), the girls are fighting to go to CIF as well as to attain the Pacific League Championship title. The season is nearly over and for these girls the chance to play in the highly anticipated CIF playoffs is on the line. In order to showcase its skills, the girls varsity <capitalize> team is banking on excellence through the next month to make it to the desired playoffs. “Quote here,” said Coach Young. Come support these girls in their final three home games of the season before they travel to CV to end the season.

<from first paragraph. definitions of berth:
1 sufficient distance for maneuvering a ship b : an amount of distance maintained for safety
2 the place where a ship lies when at anchor or at a wharf b : a space for an automotive vehicle at rest
3 a place to sit or sleep especially on a ship or vehicle
4 a billet on a ship
LOL plz revise the coach's quote to make sense>
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Stephen Chu



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PostSubject: Girls Varsity Basketball   Thu Jan 13, 2011 9:24 pm

As fall sports come to its end, the Girls Varsity Basketball team is ready to prove that it is the team to beat this winter. This 2011 squad has prepared diligently and is eager to fight for the Pacific League Championship title. Although deemed a mediocre team last season, finishing out of the top three, this year’s team will learn from its mistakes and improve on its average season. Coach Don Young stated, “The team has a set goal to earn an automatic bid to CIF playoffs. To do so we would have to finish top four in our eight team league. Since the expansion of the Pacific League from six to eight teams, it has never happened.”

Although the new year has just begun, 2011 seems like it will be much more successful than previous years. These girls have started the season with a record of 8-3, winning their opening league matchup against Hoover High School. On Jan. 4, the girls played well and consistently outplayed the competition. By only accumulating three losses in the La Canada and Arroyo tournaments combined, the girls are out to earn respect and credibility on the court. Following their spectacular start to the season, the girls played against Glendale High School on Jan. 7; the team played a decent game, but it still lost. Coach Young explained, “If there is one thing I can say about this year’s team that stands out [it] is that they are very dedicated to each other.”

With consistent practices everyday, the Girls Varsity team is in the pursuit of excellence with a work ethic that is second to none. By understanding the importance of these games while maintaining a fun attitude, the girls are proving that enjoyment and victory are complementary to one another. “Zero period [practice] is usually dedicated to shooting and working on offensive skills and our afternoon practices focus a lot on defense. We run several full court and half court traps and both require a lot of repetition,” said Coach Young. As the season progresses the girls continuously strive toward being a fundamentally sound basketball team while trusting one another to achieve worthy results. Reminders from Coach Young that “the team must always stick together and understand how far this program has come along” inspires these ladies of the court to play as a united group. The girls have adopted this concept and understand the significance of focusing on the team rather than the individual players.

Key contributions and significant leadership from this year’s seniors emphasize the team’s focus of finishing off the girl’s high school sports careers with a bang. Coach Young stated, “I'm very proud of this group of seniors: Dana Yamada, Joy Kang, Julianna Okamoto, Danielle Lee, and Melody Cazarin. Those five girls went through a lot these past three years and it’s only proper that they go out winners in their last year at AHS.” The underclassmen on this year’s team want to give these seniors a memorable last season; however, they also know that this is just another year to prove themselves to Coach Young. With Julianna, Joy, and sophomore Melody Chang all in the top ten in scoring and steals in the Pacific League, the Varsity team is well rounded and has the talent to become a dominant team.

With games against Hoover, Glendale, Pasadena, Burroughs, Burbank, John Muir, and Crescenta Valley (CV), the girls are fighting to go to CIF as well as to attain the Pacific League Championship title. The season is nearly over and for these girls the chance to play in the highly anticipated CIF playoffs is on the line. In order to showcase its skills, the girls Varsity team is banking on excellence through the next month to make it to the desired playoffs. Come support these girls in their final three home games of the season before they travel to CV to end the season.
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